Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
