I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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