it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
