last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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