Pants 0. Shit 1.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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