you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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