Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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