i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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