either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
