too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
birth control should be required to get into college
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
