i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
