after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
