Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
