What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
