big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
