Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
