I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
