I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If that was your dad, he is hot
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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