my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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