i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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