You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
