You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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