he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
