I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
