can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize