So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
