that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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