I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
