Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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