I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
