no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
