I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
