my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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