I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
