wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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