big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm passing your future prison.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
