He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
