the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
how drunk are you?
Several
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
