it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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