Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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