Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize