I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
