belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
