Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
