Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
