Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i dont even know how to be here
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
