I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
