at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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