Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
