Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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