Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
