We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
bring money and cleavage
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize