: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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