Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
