I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
