Im at strip club and am horny
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize