I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
