So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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