Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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