god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
