i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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