YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
