Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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