All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
