is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
