HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Randomize