So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
