hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
