We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
