Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You are a genius and a whore.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize