No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Are my feet made of real feet?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
