yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
