I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
