I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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