So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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