Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize