Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
