remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My boob is missing a layer of skin
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
