Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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