I feel great
I just peed on a car
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
